Paanch : Motion for Demotion
The “A” certificate of the Great Pathetic Pinheaded Censor Board of India gives way to a pumping background score arm in arm with various snap shots of Bombay flashed on the big screen. Pumped with a high dose of adrenalin, the background score and the vibrating stills behind the opening credits set your heart on fire.
Six years after it was ready, twelve years after its first version was written - the curtains are raised finally… You enter the hall with a clenched fist (for the Censor Board), grinding jaw (to chew anyone who dare make a sound during the show) and a heart beating at bullet speed.
The police inspector has an open case to crack. Members of a rock band in front of him look as if they are waiting for the barman to serve them the next round of drinks. Instead they are served tea and cigarettes. Inspector-jee seems to have graduated from a raddi shop that was well stacked with Hardy Boys and the Three Investigators. Pray he goes what happened?
Flashback to when the band of 5 are struggling to make ends meet. The band’s leader a Mr. Luke (Kay Kay Menon, energetic performance) seems to have burning coals under his ass, is the proud owner of a ready to explode volcanic head , beats to pulp those who mess with him - which usually is everyone on Mother Earth, smokes pot, drinks Rum and cuts open Barbie Dolls as a poetic expression. Mercifully, Chucky doesn’t rise nor does Paapi Gudiya.
Add to this team a Ms. Shiuli (Tejaswani Kolhapure, bearable at best) who dates more men than the total number of hankies you may have lost in your entire life; a Mr. Pondy (Vijay Maurya, plays the role of Dawood in Black Friday) who seems to possess two expressions in his fucked up life - anger and idiotic, make it three expressions if you would like to count the facial contour of a person, whose ass is kicked every five minutes of his/her living life; a Mr. Murgi (Aditya Srivastava)- one who swings between a confused mind and sane insanity; and lastly a Mr. Joy (Joy Fernandes) who seems more of an ideal fit for the WWF. By WWF, I meant the World Wrestling Federation and not World Wildlife Fund, incase you were thinking of the later. Now that I think of it… it doesn’t matter.
Long story short, in an attempt to set their rock band rolling forward, a plot is hatched, plot goes haywire which leads to murder, mayhem, more murders, more mayhem, more… of something which you give a miss to answer the call of nature and nicotine or perhaps a fresh air of normalized sanity flowing freely outside the screening theater.
The days of “he must be good” are over and it’s time to see the real goods. Unfortunately Anurag Kashyap, writer/director of Paanch doesn’t do justice to the mantle he was placed on by the MSM, Film journalists, Bloggers and Discussion Board enthusiasts.
You search for logic; you have your brains on high gear when you sit for a “realistic” movie. Or even a “realistic” approach. Sadly logic is thrown to the winds time and again throughout the flow.
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The purpose for sticking around in a house for a dance after the theft has been committed - is mind boggling, so is the logic where one of the characters is dead, not dead, supposed to be, truly dead… FOR GOD SAKE IF HE ISN’T DEAD NOW YOU WANT HIM DEAD AND IF HE IS DEAD THEN YOU WANT TO BRING HIM TO LIFE AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM.
“Don’t use logic” was what Anurag had to say to me, after the movie when I asked him about these scenes. But it’s impossible not to. Had one been watching a “Paap ko jala kar rakh kar doonga” or a “Masti” or a Johar/Chopra/Bhansali film, the brains will without doubt be shut off before one walks into the theater.
But when one walks into a movie termed as “realistic”, one is looking for a thinking film. It’s tough. Using chopsticks for your tomato soup. It’s tough.
Yet there are parts sprinkled throughout the film that show Kashyap’s eye for realism and shock. Stark and served sharp. The feeding of the birds, Kay Kay’s outburst at his friend’s godown, the sharp cutting edge scene between the band and a cop (Sharad Saxena) are a few which are brilliantly captured on camera.
The story movement from one part to the next, sadly, fails. The connections between them are weak, hazy and to put it mildly… amateurish. The pace of the movie is like Babaji’s 1925 Ford that moves, goes dead, sputters into action, goes dead again… until you prefer to walk rather than drive in it.
Its understandable that Kashyap was frustrated with the ever increasing demands of his producers and financers to change the original script, yet, the alternatives and modifications he’s came up with are stale and soggy. It’s tragic, because there was a lot of potential to make another hard-hitting “Satya”.
B Minus C Plus. Paanch in the end turns out to be the gunpowder that went dank. Expect no cannonball explosion in here.
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April 25th, 2006 at 10:51 pm
hmm…. hmmmmmmmmmm
C Plus!!!
Kya hai yeah? Yeah hai kya?
April 26th, 2006 at 5:51 am
Am disappointed. We all have heard so much about this movie. But i still wanna have a look myself. Kab release hogi yeh film?!
April 26th, 2006 at 6:15 am
Whoops! Didnt check the comments for the previous post. Paanch is releasing in June-thank god for it! Black Friday? I’d be surprised to see it without any major cuts. Am confused about the name of Anurag’s next project-is it Gulel or Gulaal? Its stalled due to lack of finance? Shouldnt be the case as soon as Paanch & BF are out!
April 26th, 2006 at 6:35 am
On a totally diff note, some months back i got to see Black Friday with a very bad print but it kindof let me down too.
I guess it was more due to the anticipation of something explosive or inside dope into the fancy lives of the underworld dons which made me slight the movie.
Is it something like that which made u feel the movie was below avg? Cos Black Friday is also a like a confusing trail of incidents that culminate without logic?
April 26th, 2006 at 9:03 am
- Ravi, Ditto my reaction! I cut it down to C Plus from a B Minus as one doesn’t expect this from Anurag Kashyap. The movie does have its engaging moments, but they are far and few inbetween. Haven’t seen Black Friday, but yes Paanch does turn into a “khichdi” towards the end. Its as if the team did not know how to end this plot they had been churning for the last 2 hours. Sad yes. :(
- Pranshu, I wouldn’t get my hopes up about Paanch and Black Friday releasing soon. The same thing was mentioned around March of last year and nothing happened. The problem with Paanch is - it isn’t fresh anymore. There are some engaging moments but they may not be able to pull the movie through. Think thats the reason the producers are now looking at an “appropriate” time to release Paanch. With a ton of new biggies getting ready to release this year, I doubt if the producers will find their “appropriate” time this year.
April 26th, 2006 at 10:04 am
[...] Just read on DesiTrain that ‘Paanch’ is all set to release in June! Yeah, I know we have had this kinda news more than once but this time it’s straight from the horse’s mouth, the director-Anurag Kashyap. Hope ‘Paanch’ does make it to theatres this time. It has been a very long wait for us, the fans. Wonder what Anurag and the cast must be feeling…Anyways here is a 4-minute ANI-report on ‘Paanch’. Don’t know when it was made. It says in the report that, ‘Paanch will release in July’, which July? 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005-no idea! Also don’t remember where I downloaded this video from…all credit to you ‘Mr.Source’! It’s 4 mins-23 secs long and features a small interview with Kay Kay and Tejaswini. Size? Only 1.45 Mb! You’ll need Realplayer for it. Here’s wishing AK and the ‘Paanch’-team the very best of luck and a big middle finger to the Censors! [...]
April 26th, 2006 at 10:22 am
The disappointment only increases! First it was a B-minus and then not good enough for that too! Is it really a that bad movie or is the C-plus rating an expression of your disappointment with the movie? Am waiting for your reply and Ravi’s too. Here’s my post on Paanch, you can download an ANI report on the movie.
http://pranshu.wordpress.com/2006/04/26/paanch-all-set-for-june-release/
April 26th, 2006 at 4:22 pm
logistically, how feasible would a DVD-only release be? It would be unfair to the film as far as the experience in the theatre is concerned, but it might get it out to more people.
April 27th, 2006 at 9:55 pm
Sorry for digressing from the subject matter - but I just need to get this stuff out of my system, to you Oz. In lieu of project feel good, this space is good enough…
I once read about this director who first sits with the writer, to do a scene by scene - followed up with a line by line - reading of the screenplay he picks up as a potential project, every time.
Makes sense! After all, project details are like wrench sets. If you have too small a set, you can’t be too sure that you’ll have the one you need when the lawn tractor breaks down.
Me thinks - the subliminal process of picking the right script and fleshing it out with with the right dialogue basically boils down to the “neti, neti” methodology, as professed in Brhad-aranyaka.
Movie making, project management, and meta physics. That’s a trinity!
April 27th, 2006 at 9:59 pm
BTW, Mr.Pondy!:o
What a name! ;)
April 27th, 2006 at 10:42 pm
- George, That’s an idea. But how successful will it be in India - I’m not too sure. Every produced DVD will be made into 5-10 copies.
- WB, I agree. The balance between the macro and the micro view of a script or a screenplay has to be maintained. Sadly it isn’t. Now where do I get the Brhad-aranyaka? I’m intrigued.
Oh yeah Pondy!!! They joke about it in the movie.
May 3rd, 2006 at 9:20 pm
Wow!! i’m shocked….i was expecting a lot more from Paanch.
I saw Black Friday this week…it was brilliant!!! very intense and gripping.
Anurag was super cool too!
May 16th, 2006 at 9:53 pm
Oz bhai, I am happy that I could finally locate a link that’s decent enough for your perusal.
Here’s the actual brhadaranyaka (in devnagari): http://sanskrit.gde.to/all_pdf/bri.pdf
and here’s the not-so-good (IMO. YMMV) translation (in english): http://www.sacred-texts.com/hin/upan/
May 17th, 2006 at 12:44 pm
- WB, ueemaaa :o Damn!!!! Thanks bro… the next weekend’s JW is on me
February 1st, 2007 at 9:14 am
[...] you might have read Oz’s review of Paanch, but here’s [...]
May 17th, 2008 at 12:56 am
Hey user’s watever u say abt the movie but i m eager to see it …
plz if any one could send me the link to download it or to get it frm some were else…
waiting fr reply