Darna Zaroori Hai : Factory goes bankrupt
And the day has finally arrived. The dreaded day. That day comes in the life of every formerly hailed, now despised, technically competent, once hailed as a genius, movie director or writer or technician.
JP Dutta, Rahul Rawail, Mansoor Khan, Mahesh Bhatt, Ramesh Sippy and a few others in the “We were something once” group.
To this group we now welcome Mr. Ram Gopal Varma.
Tragic. Very tragic indeed.
The man who gave us a reason to go to the theaters (though far and few inbetween) has gone bankrupt. In ideas. His production firm - The Factory is literally running short of raw material.
The raw material of ideas, stories, scripts and screenplays.
And to think that this guy was instrumental in bringing forth many a talent out to the forefront. Be it the till then a complete flop - Urmila Matondkar (Rangeela), Manoj Bajpai (Satya), Anurag Kashyap (Satya), Sriram Raghavan (Ek Hasina Thi), Shimit Amin (Ab Tak Chappan), the now down and out Vivek Oberoi (Company) among many other actors and technicians.
After watching DZH, you beg to ask Mr. Varma this question: WHO THE FUCK ARE THE PEOPLE HE IS SURROUNDING HIMSELF WITH?
Is this the best he could come up with?
DZH in short is an amateurish screenplay that any gifted writer would have written in his or her Fifth grade class.
The cause or motive or conflict that forms the basis of each episode is weak, lame and quite frankly extremely boring.
Watching DZH is like watching the passing fields from the air conditioned window of your Rajdhani train or the Shinkansen. There is no emotion, no connection and no fucking trace of excitement.
This is RGV at his worst and it doesn’t look like its going to get any better.
This piece was intended to be written as a separate article one of these days, but after watching DZH, it is imperative that I integrate it with my opinion on RGV, DZH and the ongoing trends in Bollywood.
Bollywood is slowly moving towards a corporate structure. Creating a corporate atmosphere, a corporate culture. Chopras, Johars, Varmas, Ghais and the other lesser known lot have opened up factories to produce about a dozen movies each year. It makes sense. You have to sell something to earn an income, pay employees, rents, loans etc. Typical business scenario.
Corporatisation can be seen as curing several diseases that ail the Bollywood Industry. Movies are now being made faster. In the past it was - I started this movie when I was six years old and now it will be released just before my retirement. No, that bullock cart shooting pace is a thing of the past (mostly). That is one good thing this corporate culture has brought in.
The only slight problem with the corporatisation of Bollywood is there isn’t much raw material available to make and then sell products. The raw material is the script or screenplay.
So Bollywood digs into Video libraries to get “original ideas” from “original” Hollywood, Koreawood or any other wood movie. But even that isn’t sufficient to satisfy the every increasing demand for more raw materials. It requires atleast half a dozen releases by a mid to large size movie company to keep itself afloat. What to do?
So now it’s into remakes and sequels. Good enough.
But the money being invested is still far more than the amount being used to churn out products. Investments need returns. There aren’t gonna be any returns if your money is not used anywhere or anyhow to make a Bollywood product.
Copies, Remakes, Sequels and the few original plots still aren’t enough to utilize the huge amounts of cash lying at Corporate Bollywood’s doorstep.
Naturally there’s pressure. And pressure gives rise to pathetic, moronic, stupid, idiotic ideas that are turned into scripts that make no sense at all.
The result: A once talented Ram Gopal Varma makes a C grade movie with A grade actors. You get a Darna Zaroori Hai.
Now we have writer’s schools and workshops popping up in Bollywood. Chief among them being Subhash Ghai’s, soon to start, Whistling Woods. Something good may come out of it.
But then again, schools and workshops can only do so much. You may get tools and techniques to fine tune, sharpen and tighten your writing skills, give it a more defined structure. But what about creativity? No one will be able to provide you that. The unlimited craziness with which your creative mind can travel in any direction gives birth to the germ of a genius idea that you then develop into an interesting spellbinding story. Does Bollywood have people that have this inborn ability? More importantly is Bollywood attracting and welcoming such people who can lay the strong foundation in terms of a story for a product that will have a high probability of multi million dollar returns?
I doubt it. Pathetic wages and remunerations for writers is like putting up a “No Entry” sign right at the beginning of the street that leads to Bollywood. Anurag Kashyap lamented about it, Kamlesh Pandey has complained about it among many other talented writers who have voiced their sharp opinions on this ill.
How long will it take for the pin headed producers and corrupted idiot directors of Bollywood to understand this?
Read my lips - NO TALENTED WRITERS = NO GOOD STORY = FLOP MOVIE
Kids are made to behave like adults. Mouthing dialogues that are difficult to digest, the kids move to an old Haveli (there’s always one of those) where they meet an old woman who seems to be have escaped from the psychiatric ward of the Bori Bunder Hospital.
Six stories are told; those start and end before you blink your eye. The episodes may as well have been written in a one liner. That most probably is the screenplay. Six episodes. Six lines and you go ahead and make a movie off those six lines.
oz adds episode seven. Which gives you, dear reader, an idea of what the crux of each episode in DZH would be.
oz goes to the restroom to pee. He stands there. He stands there. He stands there. No pee. He wants to pee. But he can’t. Sweat trickles down his forehead. Then he hears footsteps in his living room. He zips his pants and slowly walks towards the sound of footsteps. Heart is thumping. Who could it be? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…. it’s his roommate returning back from grocery shopping. The End.
Next episode.
This is what DZH is. And I’m not sure why I am not taking my shoes off and smacking the DVD of DZH with all my strength, anger and resentment.
My most voiced question again… WHO THE FUCK IS INVESTING IS SUCH CRAP!!!!!!!!
And was it necessary for A grade actors like Bachchan, Anil Kapoor, Zakir Hussain and others to act in it just because it had a RGV stamp on it.
Sajid Khan the comedian from TV writes and directs an episode or two. He is a geniunely funny guy. And he should stick to TV. Poking his head into movie writing and direction is a strict no no for him.
Prawal Raman (directed Darna Manaa Hai - a much better product), Chakravarthi (the lead guy in Satya), Manish Gupta, Jijy Philip (director - My Wife’s Murder), Vivek Shah and above all Ram Gopal Varma - they all end up directing one of the crappy episodes.
I read a headliner by a reviewer of DZH on one of the media sites “Too many cooks spoil the broth”…
After watching DZH, I now find the reviewer himself to be a stupid fucking idiotic moron. WHAT BROTH IS HE TALKING ABOUT? IT WAS FUCKING SHIT THEY WERE MAKING AND THEY MADE JUST THAT. THERE WAS NO STORY TO BEGIN WITH THAT WOULD BE SPOILT ROTTEN BY A BUNCH OF CLUELESS DIRECTORS.
MINUS Z Grade. This is a sad day for movie fanatics. We’ve lost another talented guy to the shit hole of Bollywood’s ugly half, that no one has returned back from. Staying away from this movie is quite Zaroori Hai.
June 2nd, 2006 at 10:15 am
You know Oz, Ramu wrote the script of Shiva in a road side cafe which is right outside Nagarjuna’s House. Every time we pass through it, my friends & I still stop, have an irani chai and think abt how excited he must have been when Nag met him and offered to do the film.
Ramu gave some of his best movies in Telugu which unfortunately when remade in hindi bombed at the box office.
Ratri - the original ghost story is still the most chilling movie I have ever seen. Revathi’s performance of a life time coupled with haunting performances of Om Puri & Rohini Hattangidy.
Shiva, the best ganster movie ever made.
Gayam: Story -ScreenPlay - Mani Ratnam. Direction: Ram Gopal Verma. Easily the most straight forward - “I am a gangster and everyone fuck off” kinda movie.
Kshana Kshanam: Venkatesh & SriDevi’s all time greatest hit in telugu. Paresh Rawal at his best.
Govinda Govinda, Anaganaga Okaroju, Money… the list goes on. For 10yrs he gave us a hit after hit and was at the pinnacle of his creativity when he got lured by this bollywood thing. And then began his downfall.
Yes, he gave satya. But he never again wrote a script. He never sat down to write a film. And now with Sholay and DZH, he’s becoming eccentric day by day.
I have nothing against Hindi cinema, but this guy belonged here. There is no glamour here, no gung-ho starry tantrums. Here you write an amazing script, shoot the way you want to release it to a large sensible audience and go to bed to repeat the whole thing tomm.
Oz, you won’t believe how well his telugu protégé’s are doing here. All his assistants have struck to his style of film making and are churning out hits.
As somebody who still stands outside his first video library and that legendry irani chai café and tries to imagine the rush this tiny guy must have felt when he visualized the scenes of his gangster films, I sometimes feel like getting him back here, tie him up in a chair and supply him with loads of chai and biriyani and not let him go till he pens a script. And then let him go only when he swears that he will direct it his way and not give it to one of his stooges.
Man, Ramu is God. Here is a guy who missed his 10th class math’s exam to watch NTR and SriDevi in a movie on its first day. He is the only film maker who if given an incomplete construction site, a pair of action shoes and a hand held camera, who can give you hazar movies all with equal technical brilliance and intrigue.
It’s sad and frustrating especially when you see his classics time and again. You just can’t help but feel pity that he has ruined his career in search of empty dreams.
June 2nd, 2006 at 10:19 am
Will comment on the article later oz, but as far as my general opinion of RGV goes, I can’t believe only 4 years ago (right after company came out) I used to defend this guy heavily on indian film message boards.
Company was his last great film, a perfect mix of his personal style, bollywood sensibility and hollywood crime film influence.
June 2nd, 2006 at 10:24 am
- Ravi, I hear Ya.. I hear ya. I’ve been following RGV since I first saw Shiva in Hindi. Then it was time to follow his regional movies (with English subtitles). It’s sad. I’m feeling quite sad at the slip and downward slide of this guy.
- Anangbhai, I agree. Company was the right mix, though I thought he was in a haste to end it the way he did. Question is: Are we going to see him come back with a quality product ever again?
But what’s mind boggling about DZH is that it had 4 - 5 writers and NOT ONE could come up with an interesting episode. NOT ONE. NOT A SINGLE ONE FROM THE TEAM OF WRITERS. I can do nothing but shake my head on this.
June 2nd, 2006 at 11:18 am
Oz,
First of al i dont think anything is lipping away from ramu, dude he is exceptional and he will be , but as is the case with any genious, he gets carried away sometimes too.I think he is very self obssessed, that is what his problem is.i know he has given very good movies, even back in those days for a very good movie he would give a bad movie even in telugu like deyyam, prema katha, or in hindi like daud, naach, kaun,mast, jungle. So, this guy has been churning some bad movies for years, now only because hes been PRODUCING movies are we noticing his bad movies. But he has a point he is making movies and making profit out of it, excellent movies come in very few, we can take the history of bollywood.My point is he shouldnt be alarmed by his downfall, actually its just a mirage, i would be waiting for his directorial movies than one which he produces, and we have to agree he still directs movie faaar better than any johar or chopra or a ghai.
Oz, i also think may a tinge you are over-reacting dude, DZH isnt all that bad as you have mentioned. Ohh ok now i dont wanna sound blasphemous here..i know Oz is the darling of this spot, and i shouldnt have said it, but bout DZH, i too thought it was a senseless movie but it had its moments(illlogically).which i find in almost every scary movie. So, please leave the poor guy ramu alone and let him think, strip off the production house of his from him, and let him produce only those movies which he directs.
Snippet: ramu was once asked why doesnt he make any movies in telugu now, isnt he grateful to the telugu people who have given him such a recognition and love
Ramu answers(typical ramu style):Why the fuck should i be grateful of telugu people, infact it should be quite opposite, telugu people should be more thankful to me for i made some brilliant movies so they can enjoy
June 2nd, 2006 at 11:23 am
i liked the movie though :D
June 2nd, 2006 at 5:09 pm
I saw this movie at 2 AM in the night… alone at my house with lights out and volume turned up… and yet, I was not scared a bit… speaks a lot about the fear factor :))
For a while I thought I might have got a defective DVD with the scenes cropped… but nah, it was the full version only
The only thing I liked about the movie was the way Ramu mocks himself and Darna Mana Hai in the preview (with Manoj Pahwa)
June 3rd, 2006 at 1:02 pm
i really wonder why this kind of a discussion on Ramu didnt happen over the review of the movie ‘Sarkar’
that was the most appropriate place to talk about ramu’s downfall.
June 3rd, 2006 at 2:20 pm
Nice review…oz…here is a suggestion…don’t torture yourself…don’t watch hindi movies :)
vi
June 3rd, 2006 at 3:25 pm
I think the thing with RGV and his factory is he seems to give oppurtunities to every tom dick and harry - which is stupid. I think he needs to learn a lesson or two from Vidhu Vinod Chopra who has managed to give us Pradip Sarkar, Sanjay Bhansali, Raju Hirani - As a mentor I believe Vidhu Vinod Chopra has been far more successful in dishing out ppl who go on to become successful.
I still feel RGV himself has a lot of spark in him… still. But he should really stop his laborers in his factory from making trash.
Suyog
June 4th, 2006 at 2:34 am
For my money, and for sheer commercial appeal, I thought RGV was amazing in Kaun
June 4th, 2006 at 9:54 pm
Oz.. Please give your review on last years Yahaan.. I thought it was a wonderful movie which failed to make big…
Jimmy Shergil is very much underrated… He is much better than many star sons in the industry…
June 5th, 2006 at 12:18 pm
- Sumeet, wow you again. There’s no overreaction. It is ok to like a movie, as it is equally fine to not like it. But if you are going to tell me that the quality of Ramu’s movies has not gone down, then… ummm… ah… really dude… ~X(
- Princess, Good for you. Every story has people who like it and then those who dislike it. :)
- Nirav, :) Perhaps the next part will have Ramu mocking DZH. DMH is a much better product than DZH.
- Yoyo, Because when I reviewed Sarkar, not many had boarded the Desi Train. :)
- Vi, Can’t sigh.. I can’t :)
- Suyog, Good point.
- Prakriti, That was the last project where RGV partnered with Anurag Kashyap.
- Vineesh, Check out the OzCAR awards. I have listed Yahaan as one of the watchable movies of 2005.
June 5th, 2006 at 4:26 pm
Oz,
I never said the quality has gone down, what i meant to say is that, ramu gives some brilliant movies followed by some aweful stuff. there never was a consistency in his movies. Hmm or maybe thats the way he wants his fans to believe that he is a human too;), yup u r rite that his quality has gone down even i feel so, but still i see something in his movies which might be lacking in others( well i know u already mentioned that).
November 26th, 2006 at 7:04 am
Ram Gopal Verma has spark.. technically very sound.. but down the lane.. or deep within he doesnt respect the writer anymore. He feels, a script can be bought for a bottle of beer and a biryani… so naturally… when mental input or investment is not given its importance… the end result would be.. a building with no / weak foundation. The film wont bind at all with the viewer. How to keep the balance between art and ‘commerce’ is key.. Hit and/or flop .. is not the criterea. Does the script hold attention.. is it interesting.. thats the crux. Here Ramu has failed.. and failed badly. If his creative well has run dry.. better close factory asap. Life goes on.. but dont come up with shoddy work.